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Health Quality Forum

Posted in Uncategorized | August 27th, 2011

health quality forum
Why is treating women well a negative quality?

This isn’t necessarily a nice guy vs. bad guy question. From personal observations and questions repeatedly asked in this forum, it seems that women disapprove when their husbands or boyfriends show common decency to other women. For example, a recent question I read was from a wife who hated the fact that her husband sent a text message to a female co-worker inquiring about her health. She felt as if all of his compassion and empathy should be saved for her. Are these positive qualities in a man genuine, if he is able to only focus them on one woman?

I agree to a point, and I also disagree to a point. Before I explain, I do need to say this is a VERY good question, and I’m giving you a star.

I think it depends on the situation — there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed when you’re married.

Personally, I’d be upset if my husband texted another woman to ask her about her health. The only reason I’d be upset is because my husband and I do not exchange phone numbers with members of the opposite sex, so I’d be concerned about the phone number. However, if he bought his coworker a “get well” card, or asked her at work how she was feeling, etc I wouldn’t be upset in the least.

Let’s take another example. How about the mother of one of my husband’s coworkers passes away. An expression of condolences, a hug, a card — all these things are acceptable. Now if *my* mother passed away, I would get much more attention I’m sure. A lot of physical comforting like holding me, cuddling, or more intimate gestures like wiping tears from my eyes — all these things are unacceptable to be doing to another woman in my opinion.

My husband holds doors open for other women; I’m fine with that. I think it’s polite and makes him look like the gentleman he is. He still opens my car door for me every time.

Say he and I were up on stage and I was giving a difficult, emotional speech — he may reach over and hold my hand. To me, that’s unacceptable to do to another woman because it is crossing a line; it’s an intimate gesture that should be given only to ones spouse if you’re married.

I personally like the fact that my husband is a gentleman. Like I said before, there is a line however, that shouldn’t be crossed.

Good question.